So hey, it's been a while again! I know I've been real quiet but I'm back and with lots to say and share.
The La Mama monthly circles came to me one evening during one of these many lockdowns, as I was thinking about all the new mamas and mamas to be that have spent their pregnancy and early motherhood relatively or entirely isolated from other mothers. And I was trying to think back to when I was growing Ada in my womb and those first few months, how incredibly valuable, in many ways, it was for me to see, meet and chat with other mums who were in the same stage of parenthood as I was.
Those all-nighters we pull one after the other feeding our babies, the many many 'oh shit' moments, the feelings of 'not doing it right', the incredible pride that comes with the tiniest thing your baby does, none of these things are quiet appreciated as much by anyone else but another mama with a similar age baby or who is also pregnant.
When we share with other mamas we're also reassuring each other (yes it's fine, my belly/baby/poop/does that too), getting tips and ideas (from feeding tricks to pregnancy sex positions) and encouraging each other. And this is all vital.
As we all know, there is no way we were meant to live alone, let alone parent alone. The saying 'It takes a village' is as much relating to the child as it is to the mother, especially those first few months/years.
You see when you raise a child, what's actually happening is that they are raising you. We are often having to face parts of ourselves that we've brushed aside and that can be really really hard. And so it's a hell of a ride, one which we embark on often competely blind to what might be in store for us. Because, you can't predict how you're going to deal with all these experiences, the responsibility, the changes in your day to day life, this massive psychological shift of no longer being the centre of the Youniverse.
And hey, your partner/mother/whoever you live with if you do live with someone, may be bloody amazing at everything, including helping you navigate all of this. And I really hope they are, you deserve it. But the connection we make with other mamas who are raising (and being raised by) their own kids, is entirely different. Different because it's very unlikely they will ever judge you, expect anything of you and also they see things from a different perspective and that will often prove invaluable.
I have been solo parenting for over a year now and this is what my mama circle is to me: a moral and mental support, a constant reminder of my strengths, a space where I can be myself and 'let go', a stream of wanted advice, inspiration and advice, a way of seeing things differently and making decisions with a clearer mind, an 'always there' kind of feeling. And I honour my mama friends for they are making this journey that much sweeter for my daughter and me.
And this is how the La Mama circles were born. Wanting to connect mamas in a way that felt authentic, true and easy. No obligation to bring anything but yourself, no need to chat if you don't feel like it, just come as you are. That's what it's all about after all, accepting ourselves with whatever baggage we turn up with and doing the same with others. That is also parenting. We are learning, every day. Let's make it that much easier by creating a space for ourselves in which we are held, heard and loved.
See you there mama,
Love Romany x